When the weight of the world is too much
My soul is troubled.
I know that sounds cliché, but it is the best way I can describe it. I feel almost numb yet sad, upset, and heavy. It feels like I’m grieving.
Not for an individual, but for humanity.
The news the past few days has left me reeling. An assassination and another school shooting today. I’m still coming to terms with the woman stabbed on the subway in NC. A few days ago, a mass shooting in New York. I saw another story out of Kentucky that I didn’t even click on because I knew it would only add more weight.
My social media feed feels like it is nothing but sadness, darkness, and evil. And on top of the headlines there is a flood of hateful rhetoric from people responding. It’s not only the evil acts themselves but also the rejoicing, the division, and the cruelty in how people talk about and to one another.
I’m not sure what I want to do. Part of me wants to avoid social media and the news altogether and just live oblivious, but deep down I know that’s not the answer.
It just feels like evil is always lurking and waiting for its chance.
I just want peace. Peace that feels impossible. I know what Revelation says; I know real peace will come but only after things get worse. And I don’t feel like I can handle worse.
How can the world keep going like this?
You know how when you know what's best for someone and they just won't listen. Or you see someone you love making a mistake that you know could have been avoided if they'd only listen to the people who love them and want what's best. Or even when someone is sick but refuses to take medicine you know would help them.
That's what I'm feeling, but like on a global scale.
Do you remember the song that went
“Jesus is the answer, for the world today. Above Him there's no other, Jesus is the way.”
That was pretty much all the lyrics, but sometimes that's all that needs to be said.
I remember writing a blog years ago about something similar. I think the main verse was 2 Chronicles 7:14. God promises to heal our land if we would turn from our wicked ways. Years later, we’re still here, making the same mistakes.
I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if we'll see an end to the violence and evil, but this is what I'm reminding myself tonight:
Peace is not just for some future day. Jesus promised His peace now. He said, “My peace I give you, not as the world gives.”
That peace doesn’t come from searching for a good headline. It comes from slowing down, breathing in prayer, and letting Him carry what is too heavy for me to carry.
At the same time, it’s not wrong to feel this weight. Jesus Himself wept over Jerusalem. Paul wrote about groaning with longing for a better world.
It seems there is a kind of holy grief in seeing the brokenness around us and not looking away.
It's ok to grieve this world. It's ok to hope for something better. It's absolutely appropriate to share Jesus with a dying world.
Yes, sometimes the world can be hard but Jesus has overcome the world. (John 16:33)
That’s all I’ve got today. It isn’t much, but it’s where I am tonight.
I just felt like I needed to get it out.
